?????
Why does it take only two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to remain silent? Speaking is a skill, while silence is wisdom. A person’s destiny can often be discerned by how they speak. Speaking harshly and hurting others daily will naturally lead to losing one’s senses.
People who use sharp words to hurt others often lead lonely lives with few friends. No spouse wants to come home to a partner who constantly reproaches them; no child is happy with parents who never speak tenderly, only yelling and arguing; no friends are interested in dealing with people who speak cynically and make malicious comments.
People with good fortune speak moderately, every word reflecting their morality. They don’t use harsh words to criticize or discredit others, don’t speak out of turn, and don’t mention their own merits after helping someone. Their words are always sincere, aimed at encouraging others.
Knowing a person well doesn’t require much speech. Saving some space in conversations preserves a bit of “virtue” for oneself. Criticizing someone without taking responsibility saves some generosity for oneself. Avoiding demands and saving some humility for oneself also benefits both parties.
Speaking mindlessly can lead to karma. Harsh words can ruin every relationship, even those that took a long time to build. Ancient wisdom advises speaking with consideration. A person with a gentle disposition will speak gently, while a resentful person will speak harshly. Those who speak with humility are polite, whereas the selfish are often boastful.
We are often controlled by negative emotions. Someone who can control their emotions is stronger than a fortress. Deep waters flow slowly; noble people speak gently.
**1. Speak slowly and thoughtfully.**
Speaking calmly and slowly can make the listener feel stable and increase their trust in you.
**2. Make small things humorous.**
Especially for well-intentioned reminders, use humor to prevent the other person from feeling criticized. A small joke can make a big issue seem minor, and people will appreciate the reminder and your goodwill.
**3. Be cautious with things you don’t know.**
Expressing uncertainty carefully will make others see you as reliable.
**4. Don’t talk about things that haven’t happened.**
People dislike hearing about unfounded assumptions. If you avoid making arbitrary comments or discussing unconfirmed events, people will see you as mature, responsible, and dependable.
**5. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver.**
The saying “don’t promise what you can’t deliver” holds true. Don’t commit to something you’re unsure you can do, as it will undermine trust in you.
**6. Avoid hurtful words.**
Don’t use words that hurt others, especially among relatives. This fosters honesty and strengthens affection.
**7. Don’t share heart-wrenching stories with everyone.**
When someone is deeply hurt, they may want to confess to others, but doing so with just anyone can create pressure and alienate the listener. It may seem like you’re imposing your suffering on them.
**8. Be careful with others’ affairs.**
Maintain a safe distance and don’t comment on or discuss others’ matters, ensuring a sense of security in your communications.
**9. Listen to how others see you.**
Pay attention to others’ perspectives on you when discussing yourself, which can leave a humble impression and show that you are reasonable.
**10. Clearly explain matters to children.**
Especially during adolescence, communicate calmly and consistently with your child, fostering positive feelings and a sense of friendship, which can also be convincing.
Speaking is an ability, but knowing what not to say is wisdom. Speaking is an art, and both words and ideas should be carefully considered before speaking. Speaking improperly can cause both parties to lose interest, so avoid saying things that are harmful or unnecessary.
**1. Don’t say depressing, negative words.**
Some people tend to say discouraging things. In life, it’s necessary to encourage others and oneself, avoiding words that drag down everyone’s spirits.
**2. Don’t speak in anger.**
Angry words often hurt others and oneself. It’s crucial to remain calm and not speak arbitrarily when angry, as such words are usually hard to take back.
**3. Don’t voice resentments.**
When dissatisfied, people often express resentment towards bosses, friends, or family. Constant complaints can lead to gossip and discord, causing unnecessary suffering.
**4. Don’t speak offensively.**
Some people speak carelessly, disrespecting others with offensive words. These can cause lasting harm to relationships and one’s reputation.
**5. Avoid boasting.**
Some people like to self-promote, but others find it off-putting. Boasting can harm rather than help, so it’s better to remain humble and let achievements speak for themselves.
**6. Don’t lie.**
Lying is one of the five precepts in Buddhism. Falsehoods can have serious consequences, as illustrated in the fable “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” Spreading rumors and lies ultimately leads to distrust and trouble.
**7. Don’t reveal secrets.**
Many aspects of life, from personal to professional, require confidentiality. Disclosing secrets can have serious repercussions, so it’s important to develop a habit of discretion.
**8. Don’t discuss private matters.**
Everyone has personal issues they prefer to keep private. Discussing others’ personal matters can reveal a lack of respect and harm relationships.
Ancient wisdom advises careful speech, avoiding words that can harm others. Speaking kindly and keeping a good heart benefits both oneself and others.