Of course, you love your pup. With those soulful eyes, that wagging tail, and the sweetest imaginable spirit, how could you not? The question is: Does your dog know it? It’s incredibly important. “Showing affection to your dog is an important part of establishing your bond,” says Katy Nelson, DVM, senior veterinarian at Chewy. Regardless of age, all dogs need affection and emotional interaction, but they are unique in their exact needs. “Some dogs crave pets, hugs, scratches, and lots of communication and cooing,” explains Dr. Nelson. “Others are more relaxed and independent and will take what you give, but don’t necessarily love all the attention you want to give.”
But canine cuddles aren’t necessarily about a dog’s need for love – at least not as we understand the concept. “While this may be what humans perceive, the basic instinct for petting and snuggling is more of an assurance that the pack leader (or owner) still accepts them as part of the pack,” says Dr. Nelson, adding that the key is to figure out exactly what makes your dog happy. “Knowing your pet’s personality goes a long way in determining how much affection your pet might want.”
The Difference Between Affection and Attention
Before diving into signs that you may not be giving your pup enough affection, it’s essential to understand the difference between affection and attention. Dr. Nelson defines affection as a gentle feeling of tenderness or being loved/liked. You can show affection to your dog by petting, kissing, caressing, hugging, or cuddling them. Attention, on the other hand, has more to do with regarding someone as interesting or important. Ways to give attention to your dog include playing, walking, feeding, training, or conversing with them. For a truly successful relationship, you need both.
It’s important to note that when you’re trying to do any of these things, you should steer clear of certain behaviors. A biggie is rough play, especially with puppies. This can lead to biting behavior and reinforce negative habits, which become even more problematic as they age. Also, you need to ensure you’re not showing affection through food; this can predispose dogs to begging behaviors and obesity-related health issues. Hugging your dog can also be a no-no, depending on your dog and how you do it.
Affection Needs Vary by Breed
According to Dr. Nelson, a study published in the Royal Society Open Science journal showed that some dog breeds act more independently than others, resembling more their wolf ancestors with their lack of dependence on humans. For example, Labradors were more likely than German Shepherds to look at their humans when solving puzzles. Czechoslovakian Wolfdogs were even less likely to look at their humans, indicating a closer relationship with their wolf ancestors than both shepherds and Labradors.
“Some dogs have an insatiable need for constant belly rubs and cuddles, while others are satisfied after a few pats,” says Dr. Nelson. “Like humans, different dogs have different levels of affection needs and will let you know if they feel neglected.” Of course, it’s not always easy to figure out what they’re trying to tell us. That’s why we’ve compiled this list of signs that your dog probably needs some TLC.
Chewing Shoes is Their Favorite Hobby
When a dog chews on your shoes, it might seem just like an annoying habit, but something drives this behavior. “Puppies may chew because of teething and should be supplemented with appropriate chew toys,” recommends Dr. Nelson. “Chewing can also be attributed to boredom or anxiety. In this case, your dog may need extra playtime or TLC.” If anxiety is the primary issue, however, solo playtime won’t necessarily help. Dr. Nelson suggests discussing with a veterinarian to help address this issue.
Dogs bark for a variety of reasons. “They may warn you of perceived danger, greet a person or another dog, hunt for a squirrel in prey mode, cope with anxiety, or simply demand your attention,” says Dr. Nelson. If your dog’s barking is directed at other animals or people outside the house, it’s likely due to territorial instinct. But if the barking is directed at you or another family member, there’s a good chance your pup is trying to tell you something.
They Keep Pawing at You
Pawing at you is your dog’s way of seeking attention or initiating play. Think of it as a friendly tap on the shoulder from an especially enthusiastic friend. “While this most often means your dog wants your attention and affection, it could also be [a sign] that your dog is anxious or seeking you out for comfort,” says Dr. Nelson. How can you tell the difference? Many of them boil down to past interactions between you two. Dogs generally learn through trial and error, so if your pup has learned that you give attention when they paw, they will continue to do so because it gave them what they wanted.
You’ll also want to pay close attention to your pup’s body language. Dogs communicate with their whole bodies, and this needs to be taken into account when determining their moods. A timid or anxious dog would likely have a tucked tail, ears back, and a stiff body; they may also be panting, drooling, avoiding eye contact, pacing, and moving away from whatever stimulus is affecting them. A relaxed and comfortable dog will have relaxed, forward-pointing ears; a calm and relaxed tail; and a calm body posture. Either way, giving your dog affection at this moment can help. You’ll either be fulfilling their need for snuggles or lulling them into a very real sense of security.
Whining is Their Song of the Week
Whining is one of the many ways dogs vocalize. “Dogs most commonly whine when seeking attention, when excited, when anxious, or when trying to please you,” says Dr. Nelson. While more vocal breeds (such as terriers or toy breeds, for example) may be more prone to whining, any dog can learn to do it for attention if this behavior makes you look, talk, or otherwise interact with your pet.
But you shouldn’t necessarily give in to your dog’s demands for attention at this moment. “Any acknowledgment of whining can end up reinforcing this behavior,” says Dr. Nelson. “Instead, wait for a lull in the whining to praise your dog for being quiet and give attention and treats then. It can be challenging to be more consistent than your dog is persistent, but over time, your dog can learn that staying quiet for attention earns more rewards than whining.”
Can You Give Your Dog Too Much Love?
Dr. Nelson says you can “spoil” your dog without ever allowing them any alone time, creating an extremely dependent relationship. You and your dog need some time apart. After all, as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Plus, boundaries can help your dog understand what’s expected of them and behave better. “Too much affection can also mean you’re inadvertently giving your dog positive cues at the wrong time to support bad behaviors, which can lead to behavior problems such as separation anxiety, vocalizing for attention, and/or destruction of objects in the home to get attention,” explains Dr. Nelson.
But as long as you promote a healthy relationship, keep on loving! After all, a loved dog is a happy dog. “Dogs are the most altruistic creatures on the planet, so give them an inch [and] they’ll give you a mile,” says Dr. Nelson. “Be assured that the affection you give will be returned tenfold.” This benefits you in some tangible ways too. “Interacting with pets has been shown to reduce anxiety in humans, lower heart rate, and increase the release of endorphins (happiness hormones) in the brain,” she adds. “So not only is playing with your dog fun – it’s healthy too.”